The World Moves On.

Well right now I am faced to deal with a lot of major stuff in my life. This is not a cry for sympathy or w/e. I just need to release some of this energy inside of me. I know death is apart of life and you just have to deal with it. But I'm finding it hard to deal with everything else. I am a senior this year, I have to start planning where I'm going after high school, I have to deal with moving away from home and moving away from the people I have grown up with. Added to all of that my Uncle Phil passed away just before school started. This man was an inspiration to me. We (my family) would me my Aunt and Uncle every friday at Chaps. We are very close as a family which makes it hard to let go. My Uncle spent his whole life since he was 17 fighting kidney complications and living his life to the best he could. He was a true hero to me. I just cant stand the fact that he won't be around anymore. I'm so used to seeing him nothing feels the same anymore. It also kills me to know that he's not going to be there to see me graduate. I also breaks my heart to see my Aunt sometimes, knowing that she comes home at night to be alone and have no one to talk to. To add to all of that my Grandma has cancer. My Grandma is my Dad's mom and my Aunt's mom. Which makes me feel twice as bad for my Aunt. I mean, how devastating can that be? To lose your true love and then your mother? We as a family have been having a Sunday dinner for the past 6 weeks. It's getting to the point where I can't go to it. Ive been wathing my Grandma deteriate. She has been slowly wasting away before my eyes and I can't do a thing about it. It's hard for her to move around, she never feels good and she just looks if she could just go. She never really smiles anymore and for the last 2 months or so I havent heard her laugh. The Dr.'s say that she has about 6months-1 yr and that was a month ago. But after watching how much she has changed the past 6 weeks, I dont think its even going to be another 2 months. Now back to what I said at the beginning of all of this: Death is apart of life, you just have to deal with it. This is A LOT to deal with it and to accept. The world is moving on quickly and everything around me is just turning into memories. Its been hard but Ive been taking life day by day and keeping my head up but ever since my Uncle died, the world around me has not been the same. It's like home doesnt feel like home anymore.